10, 20, 30, 40, 50, 60, 666 times and so on we tink to ourselves how much we will change. A better tomorrow, a better future, an improvement of yourself, that is how you could feel without much of a burden around your shoulder, and when things go so well your emotions make it feel like those bitter past have gone and you improve to your better bidding. Just because you are not in it anymore, does not mean you are an improvement to yourself. An imrpovement to yourself is going through the same shit or a greater shit than before and seeing how you perform and cope with it during the current moment that tells of how capable of you are today and right now in this very moment. There are past so bitter, that no matter how much sweets or sour plums you take in will not kill the bitterness that resides in your taste bud. When the past is so bitter, it forms a set of thoughts and beliefs within your mind and heart, that culminates into your feelings and thus make of yourself today, a product of your past, a lesson you may learnt too much of it, that you are being hyper sensitive to not have things being repeated or having the taste of the bitterness you once had before.
It is not like you wanted it to happen, but the fact is within your very own self, how you are today is what you experienced and learnt from the past, it is matter of fact whether you learn it in a good way or a bad way, whichever you define it is good or bad for yourself. It is not surprising how an innocent and good being can be polluted by dirt and darkness and forms himself the villain he is today or should I say cold and darker self of him/herself today. How things can force a pure being to think and act out of bitterness from their past. Once he/she was not like how they are, it is surprising to learn that some villians have a great and pure past than they are today, but after things go awry and wrong for them, they got betrayed, hurt and pushed to the limits of themselves (humans have a limit to themselves, breaking the boudaries of it can cause great harm to oneself, like the saying goes, too much of something isn't good) and gets them out of their naive state. They see more and they hear more, being more cautious and losing trust among people. So to say naive can be good or bad in a way of how you place that term in a situation. People loses trust in others due to their past of betrayals and lies, especially by those they trust so much to be cheated in the end. People loses faith in people because of how they are treated and being mistreated in a way that they find other people are not reliable anymore. Until a day comes when they will realize not all things are like how they seem. But like I said this kind of situation makes one a little more sensitive than usual, with a situation that gives them back the same old feeling as before, that they could not trust or makes it difficult to trust. One that got thrust into the heart of darkness from the foul being of others, is something that makes it harder to endure as all live their life among the living and until the end you live among them and die among them..........
\m/....
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