......Today is the date once again, 29th March it is for those who knew which is only the both of us that once remember it so well. Time has changed and yet it is only me sitting in the room awaiting for the clock to tick 12.01am but managed to get on it at 2.50am to state this out. It is only me now who knows and remember it well, better than none, I will be the one to secure this memory where we once share. I will be the one holding the key to the hidden chest where no one sees other then me and only be shown to you.
It is the date once again where it comes back to me of how it all begins. Without you, I might not be who I am today, the things you taught me where I was once too stubborn enough to heed which I am now in a certain way. You made me thought a lot of how things works and how much I appreciate what was once gone and will always be gone. Through the test of time I endure, I am still standing here showing my gratitude to whom only you know. Unforgettable moments I still own in my mind, imminent happiness was where I once stood, where I truly smile at the grace you shine upon me. You lead me to the a land where non of a nobleman could ever step, but I deep my foot into the soil like any nobleman would. But I will never be a noble in your eyes, not a virtue in your mind, not a soul in your heart.
No worries there, whatever ought to happen, when all man crumble and get down on their knees to face their judgment, I shall be the last one standing to hold you on until the very end. Just say my name, I will gladly be there at your service no matter what resentment you betrothed upon me. I may not be perfect, I may not be the one, but heed this, you shall thy will always care. That is all what I can afford to do at least for once in hope of getting a glimpse of your smile once again...
It has already been four years since that fateful day, after all that's been through, to me, theres nothing more than words can say. We know we never wanted it anymore... Here are all my blessings I wish for your eternal bliss...\m/...
29th March 2011, 3.13am...
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Fiend Defined...
He is born out of the flesh and blood of his parents,
A son of the Earth the same as many others,
A cunning deceiver off all among those who he becomes their acquaintance,
An impostor that never was meant to be,
A master of disguise he could heed,
Like a devious serpent from the Garden Of Eden,
His inspiration from the book of revelation,
People who thought they knew him never knew the ONE,
It is only HIM that they knew but what more could they expect,
A deceptor whom so omnipresent,
With callous heart over his noble physical being.
Never trust in the existence of bliss,
Humans he despised,
Those humans never saw but only the calm and not the storm,
Brings forth the storm he shall to those who provoke inner soul,
Build up from rage, anger and fury,
Wake the sleeping the demon from within and face the wrath of his demeanour,
Humans treat him as they wish but they just could not see oh yes they could not see,
An actor he is on stage to a blurry audience that keeps wondering,
Only to sway their mind away from their impending doom,
In the light fill with smiles,
In the shadow fill with necro obfuscate grim,
Can you decipher the ugly truth?
Who or what is he, only you define...
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Inferno Emotion Of Contradiction...
Whether it is common or not among many people but He thinks he is one of the most contradicting person ever among his peers and family. Some sort off hypocritical at the same time. He could be there with a smile in front of his friends, giving out a vibrant sense of positivity and bliss from his smile and laughter. He could be there at times to give the best advice to his friends, some say that the words of wisdom are really mature one from someone who is mature enough to thought about it and speak it out. He can be there for anyone who is down and try his best to help them. He can help others but he could not help himself. He cannot put up the optimistic words he comfort others with for himself, what he says contradicts his own dark feelings about the things going on around him.
Seeing how he does to make the one he cares to feel better after the down they are going through, he is glad to see them moving on with great achievements later on. But deep inside, he is denying a big part of him that is not known to anyone. He tells others not to smoke yet he is a smoker, he tells others about the importance of study yet he is not studying well, he tell others to show their love and gratefulness to their family yet he is the one who hides all his affection towards his family and staying as gloomy figure in his lair. He got too much in his mind to overcome but seems almost impossible to done for. He thought of how little time he was given to fulfill all the needs he want to achieve, as though he was given a deadline to it. A great bridge of trepidation overwhelm his thoughts of despair, something can come at him anytime without him noticing and that shall be the last of him. We do not know how things can be very unpredictable and unexpected. It just comes with a swoosh and you are taken off to "wonderland".
No matter how much he thinks optimistically of what he should and should not do, it is still hard for him to put to his actions. Actions speaks louder than words, thats for sure and he realize everything he thought and said out before in his lifetime. He realize the fault and the consequences over a matter he does. Yet there he is stranded on that pathetic island of Sauron with the one ring-to-rule-them-all in his hand and do not have the capability to do it. Is he just a coward who stood silently behind the trees in the woods, or just someone who is not gallant enough to take on hard situations eventhough he knows what should be done? His mind sways away, leaving his body standing callously, oblivious to the what is around him. Before he knew it, his world is lit by darkness and darken by light...
Seeing how he does to make the one he cares to feel better after the down they are going through, he is glad to see them moving on with great achievements later on. But deep inside, he is denying a big part of him that is not known to anyone. He tells others not to smoke yet he is a smoker, he tells others about the importance of study yet he is not studying well, he tell others to show their love and gratefulness to their family yet he is the one who hides all his affection towards his family and staying as gloomy figure in his lair. He got too much in his mind to overcome but seems almost impossible to done for. He thought of how little time he was given to fulfill all the needs he want to achieve, as though he was given a deadline to it. A great bridge of trepidation overwhelm his thoughts of despair, something can come at him anytime without him noticing and that shall be the last of him. We do not know how things can be very unpredictable and unexpected. It just comes with a swoosh and you are taken off to "wonderland".
No matter how much he thinks optimistically of what he should and should not do, it is still hard for him to put to his actions. Actions speaks louder than words, thats for sure and he realize everything he thought and said out before in his lifetime. He realize the fault and the consequences over a matter he does. Yet there he is stranded on that pathetic island of Sauron with the one ring-to-rule-them-all in his hand and do not have the capability to do it. Is he just a coward who stood silently behind the trees in the woods, or just someone who is not gallant enough to take on hard situations eventhough he knows what should be done? His mind sways away, leaving his body standing callously, oblivious to the what is around him. Before he knew it, his world is lit by darkness and darken by light...
Monday, March 7, 2011
Everything is nothing, nothing is everything...
Do we realize that we tend to call people back-stabbers and commenting about others who likes to shit on people back. Those are like one of the most contradictory statement ever as the saying of someone is a back-stabber actually makes us a back-stabber stabbing the back-stabber back from the back.
Hypocrites we are, 101% of all population in this world no matter who they are have at least the slightest % of hypocrisy that we do not know. Saying stuff about others but we do the same as well at times, we could not help it but it can't take us out from the term of hypocrisy. Same goes to racism, we like to comment on people who are racist but we do not realize that we too have racism in ourselves. "That guy is a racist..*change topic*..Hey, do you know that area have many blacks?!". We stereotype races without realizing it as well, we go around saying yes 1Malaysia but 1Malaysia in my eyes never once existed for real. We can say we have many Malay and Indian and Chinese friends but when it comes to some controversial issues, we will be discussing by labeling them in some sort of way or rather. When we are mad at some political issues, we will stem up about races who actually contribute the most to the development of the country and to those majority who treats the citizen unfairly, without justice, and those making use of special rights and going around calling others immigrant. Out of anger, we tend to say out our hearts on what we think of the issues by stating out with labeling races and their works. We still can't escape from racism. It will always be there in everyone no matter how noble you are. Look, there's a reason why we are all sinners and theres one Gautama Buddha in this world. We are ordinary human beings who aren't perfect in every single way. We can't be everything, and everything can't be us. We have to reach beyond the limitation of human beings to be something or somewhat or something we could not be.
The point is that, we are not who we think we are, we are not what we think we are, we are not totally who others think we are as well. There are many things we say or do but do not realize what we are actually doing contradicts to our moral perspective we speak about. The only reflection of ourselves we could not see and it is the largest reflection of ourselves that is kept hidden from our conscious mind. We do things we say we object doing, we say things that we deny from others. We tend to judge others, and others tend to judge us but all of us couldn't exactly judge ourselves. We humans are very un-judgeable among ordinary beings like us in this material realm, perhaps only judgment day could tell the truth about who we are. We are all in one just like how everything is nothing and nothing is everything.
Hypocrites we are, 101% of all population in this world no matter who they are have at least the slightest % of hypocrisy that we do not know. Saying stuff about others but we do the same as well at times, we could not help it but it can't take us out from the term of hypocrisy. Same goes to racism, we like to comment on people who are racist but we do not realize that we too have racism in ourselves. "That guy is a racist..*change topic*..Hey, do you know that area have many blacks?!". We stereotype races without realizing it as well, we go around saying yes 1Malaysia but 1Malaysia in my eyes never once existed for real. We can say we have many Malay and Indian and Chinese friends but when it comes to some controversial issues, we will be discussing by labeling them in some sort of way or rather. When we are mad at some political issues, we will stem up about races who actually contribute the most to the development of the country and to those majority who treats the citizen unfairly, without justice, and those making use of special rights and going around calling others immigrant. Out of anger, we tend to say out our hearts on what we think of the issues by stating out with labeling races and their works. We still can't escape from racism. It will always be there in everyone no matter how noble you are. Look, there's a reason why we are all sinners and theres one Gautama Buddha in this world. We are ordinary human beings who aren't perfect in every single way. We can't be everything, and everything can't be us. We have to reach beyond the limitation of human beings to be something or somewhat or something we could not be.
The point is that, we are not who we think we are, we are not what we think we are, we are not totally who others think we are as well. There are many things we say or do but do not realize what we are actually doing contradicts to our moral perspective we speak about. The only reflection of ourselves we could not see and it is the largest reflection of ourselves that is kept hidden from our conscious mind. We do things we say we object doing, we say things that we deny from others. We tend to judge others, and others tend to judge us but all of us couldn't exactly judge ourselves. We humans are very un-judgeable among ordinary beings like us in this material realm, perhaps only judgment day could tell the truth about who we are. We are all in one just like how everything is nothing and nothing is everything.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
The only one standing...
Do you realize that you couldn't satisfy everyone in your life? Not everyone can be happy, someone needs to get hurt for someone else to be happy, if not it will be the other way round. You are given a choice to choose between different sector of people in your life especially your friends. Your family are excluded out of it, always try to put them ahead of the rest of all humanity because they are your parents and siblings...
You have different group friends, everyone is your friends. You are always with the one you are close with yet you ignore the one who is not close to you but yet they are trying to be nice to you because they want you as a good friend of theirs. Sometimes putting on a good impression towards others is not really how it works either especially if that impression to made up intentionally to make you look good. But you are afraid to be too much of yourself as you might lose your dignity and pride to others and you know how the world works around with gossips. Unless you do not mind what others think about you???...Lets say you got a plan with your friends but at the same time another group of friends plan another things at d same period with your plan with the other friends, and another group of friends call you out to follow with their plans. One of the group might not be that close and you might be close to the other 2 groups. Thus, you have to choose between both of them, whatever choices you choose, 1 of the group is going to be disappointed over you and you lose the sense of friendship in them towards you. Inspite every choice you make, there will be one of them to go "Yes, he chooses them over us, we are not as important as them to him...let him be..."...there misunderstands happen and the whole world goes tumbling down upon you.
So I guess you get the picture of what I am trying to show???... You cannot satisfy everyone you know. But people should understand that they do not own anyone and that their friends got the rights to be friends with others. You can't expect someone to always be with you every single time and being unhappy of him/her to be away with some others for a moment. Things have a balance in this universe, we should know how to balance spending time with any friends around. Yet, at the same time you know clearly in your heart which friends are close to you and those who can really be considered as FRIENDS instead of just friends.Those who you could count on and those whom you could express who you really are without worries.
Anyway, he chooses whom he wants to be around with and he have his reasons for it. But he will never forget whom his dearest friends who are more valuable than the blazing shimmer of gold, more valuable than words can say and action to show deep down in the black core of his heart.......
You have different group friends, everyone is your friends. You are always with the one you are close with yet you ignore the one who is not close to you but yet they are trying to be nice to you because they want you as a good friend of theirs. Sometimes putting on a good impression towards others is not really how it works either especially if that impression to made up intentionally to make you look good. But you are afraid to be too much of yourself as you might lose your dignity and pride to others and you know how the world works around with gossips. Unless you do not mind what others think about you???...Lets say you got a plan with your friends but at the same time another group of friends plan another things at d same period with your plan with the other friends, and another group of friends call you out to follow with their plans. One of the group might not be that close and you might be close to the other 2 groups. Thus, you have to choose between both of them, whatever choices you choose, 1 of the group is going to be disappointed over you and you lose the sense of friendship in them towards you. Inspite every choice you make, there will be one of them to go "Yes, he chooses them over us, we are not as important as them to him...let him be..."...there misunderstands happen and the whole world goes tumbling down upon you.
So I guess you get the picture of what I am trying to show???... You cannot satisfy everyone you know. But people should understand that they do not own anyone and that their friends got the rights to be friends with others. You can't expect someone to always be with you every single time and being unhappy of him/her to be away with some others for a moment. Things have a balance in this universe, we should know how to balance spending time with any friends around. Yet, at the same time you know clearly in your heart which friends are close to you and those who can really be considered as FRIENDS instead of just friends.Those who you could count on and those whom you could express who you really are without worries.
Anyway, he chooses whom he wants to be around with and he have his reasons for it. But he will never forget whom his dearest friends who are more valuable than the blazing shimmer of gold, more valuable than words can say and action to show deep down in the black core of his heart.......
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