The return of a new resentment...

      Did you know that being called "fucker" sounds way better than being called an "idiot" or "stupid"? He can laugh it all out like the world could not hear his laughter when being called "fucker" and get swelled from within when being called an "idiot". The FUCK word was once a taboo to be use in ordinary conversation but it does not seem that way anymore as it became a noun and an adjective to anything around the world. It is more of a norm to him and for a lot of those around him whilst the word IDIOT and STUPID is way more offensive than anything. It tells about your mentality, your intelligence that it meant you are good for nothing and penny size fool who just got drop out of a pocket of a beggar. That is how he sees the word. It is more of the in-depth meaning behind it rather than just a word, what to say BASTARD which meant you are a son/daughter of a whore. People try your best not to use the word "idiot, stupid" anymore, break out from that habit as you do not know how much it could hurt a feeling seriously from within. He knows different people sees thing differently but this is for those who will feel like how he felt. Use the word "fuck" instead if you could help it, promote the greatness of FUCK, a universal god-like word that could one day rule the world with a Fuck Salute. Hail FUCK!!!

      Blood pressure checked 2 days ago and he got the highest among his peers which 137 **** whatever the term it is called. Based on the nurse on duty, it is not exactly that really at all yada yada normal as people his age are suppose to be 120 or below. Maybe it is due to the lack of sleep and the high quantity of caffeine he have been INJECTING myself lately with. Or maybe he just thinks too much... Whatever is it, it is better to take precaution early since prevention is better than cure. He do not mind to die *really???* but just not ready to get nag by his grandparents and ancestors and so on in the afterlife...

      There are just too many things going on in his head tonight as usual and one thing that inspired him to write this out, is what he come across not that long ago. He couldn't help himself but to scrawled it out here to ejaculate that shitty thought out of his mind. People could read this thing, but he do hope he manage to get something into anyones soul out there.

      Something he thought he had totally forgotten and let go is in fact the matter that he couldn't forget and let go the most of all. It had been awhile, too much of awhile. Yet he sits there reading it, thinking of it, deciphering it, whine mentally over it, and wonder back why is he having all those not-suppose-to-be thoughts there? The truth is just right in front of his both eyes that couldn't see each other. He reminisce about it once again and knocking his head right through the wall and asking himself and anything beyond him "WHAT DOES THIS FUCKIN MEANT!?" the answer goes like this "Dear bro, yer still do have the feelings there right if I'm not mistaken, you just couldn't accept the fact how you are just forgotten that way, after times and times mentally self-hurting yourself, you still are a stubborn kid who could face the truth but could not handle the truth well enough..." So that is what Sir Davy Jones said to him from his treasure box. Davy Jones sure do know how to nag as well, not bad eh for a pirate lord...Awesome shizzo...Razor wasn't that good in the past nor he is now but he did try his best to content himself from all this. He wanted to do much more for her but just could not proceed on with it, he tried to lend a hand anytime anywhere possible. Not like he wanted something in return, just wondering why she just couldn't see him? A trash right from the stinkiest bed of the ocean he could be to her and just someone who do not deserve shit from anything or anyone. The lowest of the lowest class of human he is who is the scum of all humanoid beings. The evidence just keeps getting clearer and clearer but there is no definite fact out of it, just merely assumptions. But if it is, Razor was just stupid in a way that he is just so stupid he wouldn't mind himself being considered that way. "You can even chop my left hand if you need an extra hand, you could gouge my eyes if you want to play ping pong with it, you can hit me so bad if you despise me that much, you could scrape out my skin to keep you warmer in the cold, you can butcher my shoulder off for you to cry on, you could dig the fuck out of my heart if you need an extra box to keep your little secrets."   You can't turn back the minute hand nor you can turn over again the hourglass, what is said and done is already said and done. Think of your past once again, seek your flaws and mistakes, tell yourself what should you do to make things better. What more can you ask for??? Nothing but for yourself to be happy for yourself and the ones you care...